Fun with Dresses

Women; I know you love the perfect dress. When you buy that special dress you always dreamed of you see it on you, perfect and comfortable. As a guy who has seen A LOT of dresses and accidents, let me give you a little advice. You can take it or leave it.

- I have had a number of weddings where the dress was simply too tight. We had a hard time keeping the bride conscious. It wasn’t until the Wedding Planner loosened something up that we could proceed and she didn’t faint.

- Front cleavage is great (especially for us guys) but back cleavage is wrong, just wrong. Ladies, you know what I mean: it looks great when you look in the mirror from the front but from the back? Seriously, fix the back cleavage.

- Dress length at the store is for display and not for walking. Strapless dresses look great (again, especially for us guys) but a long, strapless dress is a disaster in the making. Picture walking down the aisle in all your glory and stepping on the front of your dress; with no straps holding it up your are now REALLY in all your glory. Or picture walking up the steps to the “altar” or whatever. I can’t tell you how many times I and the whole wedding party have been flashed by the bride with a long strapless dress.

- Black dresses are cool. Different, elegant, and they don’t mean anything other than you are daring, with style.

- Width is important. Remember the venue and the aisle you are walking down. I have seen a LOT of wide dresses take out a row of chairs as they walk down the aisle. I have seen father’s swallowed up in dress as they attempt to walk down the aisle. IF you have a wide dress make sure the aisles are made wide for you. If your dress is to wide for dad to get close to you then have him stand with you at the front of the chapel and not walk the whole way, that way you won’t inadvertently knock him into the bleacher section.

I’m not an expert on dresses. I’ve just seen a lot. Take it for what it is worth.