Women; I know you love the perfect dress. When you buy that special dress you always dreamed of you see it on you, perfect and comfortable. As a guy who has seen A LOT of dresses and accidents, let me give you a little advice. You can take it or leave it.
- I have had a number of weddings where the dress was simply too tight. We had a hard time keeping the bride conscious. It wasn’t until the Wedding Planner loosened something up that we could proceed and she didn’t faint.
- Front cleavage is great (especially for us guys) but back cleavage is wrong, just wrong. Ladies, you know what I mean: it looks great when you look in the mirror from the front but from the back? Seriously, fix the back cleavage.
- Dress length at the store is for display and not for walking. Strapless dresses look great (again, especially for us guys) but a long, strapless dress is a disaster in the making. Picture walking down the aisle in all your glory and stepping on the front of your dress; with no straps holding it up your are now REALLY in all your glory. Or picture walking up the steps to the “altar” or whatever. I can’t tell you how many times I and the whole wedding party have been flashed by the bride with a long strapless dress.
- Black dresses are cool. Different, elegant, and they don’t mean anything other than you are daring, with style.
- Width is important. Remember the venue and the aisle you are walking down. I have seen a LOT of wide dresses take out a row of chairs as they walk down the aisle. I have seen father’s swallowed up in dress as they attempt to walk down the aisle. IF you have a wide dress make sure the aisles are made wide for you. If your dress is to wide for dad to get close to you then have him stand with you at the front of the chapel and not walk the whole way, that way you won’t inadvertently knock him into the bleacher section.
I’m not an expert on dresses. I’ve just seen a lot. Take it for what it is worth.
The Wedding Expert: Steve's wedding advice after thousands of weddings officiated
Monday, May 17, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Weddings I’ve Turned Down
As of May 2010, after over ten years of doing weddings in Las Vegas I can say that I have refused to do a wedding only eight times.
Four times because either the bride or the groom or both were drunk. No brainer, when one of them can’t stand and can’t vow to do anything that they will remember in the morning, I tell them to come back when they are sober. One of the times the Wedding Chapel was full of people and we had to cancel. One of the times they got into a limo and went to another chapel and go married there. But all four times the Chapel I was working at supported me in that decision and I appreciated them for it.
I have turned down two weddings because the groom refused to let me talk to the bride. Here’s the picture for both of them. Groom in his late fifties or early sixties. The bride is in her early twenties and usually from a former Soviet Eastern Bloc country like Croatia or Belarus. I know she can speak English because she is allowed to talk to the Wedding Planners but not allowed to talk to me before the wedding. One of the guys literally stood in between us and held her behind him. I will not do a wedding where I am not comfortable that there is no coercion on either part.
One of the weddings I’ve turned down was when the bride and groom got into a serious fight right before the wedding. They were seriously yelling at each other and in each other’s faces with finger pointing. I don’t remember what they were fighting about but it was serious. I finally broke them up and asked them if they still wanted to get married. They both said “YES!” with all their anger directed at me and I told them it was time to sit down and talk. We talked, they got angry at each other again, and I told them this wasn’t the right time.
The last wedding I’ve turned down was a result of family and not the bride and groom. They walked down the aisle together just as the separated mom and dad started to get into a fight over which was to “present” the bride. Instead of disengaging from the situation the bride got into the fight and it got into who paid for this and who said that and it was just a mess. The groom turns to me and says, “Maybe we should do this later”
All the chapels I work at know that I don’t do “commitment ceremonies” whether they are for gay couples or, more often, straight couples who for one reason or another don’t want the paper, just the ceremony. I turn those down whenever I am confronted with them because, basically, they are asking me for a license to sleep with each other or asking me to bless them living together. I won’t do that.
Four times because either the bride or the groom or both were drunk. No brainer, when one of them can’t stand and can’t vow to do anything that they will remember in the morning, I tell them to come back when they are sober. One of the times the Wedding Chapel was full of people and we had to cancel. One of the times they got into a limo and went to another chapel and go married there. But all four times the Chapel I was working at supported me in that decision and I appreciated them for it.
I have turned down two weddings because the groom refused to let me talk to the bride. Here’s the picture for both of them. Groom in his late fifties or early sixties. The bride is in her early twenties and usually from a former Soviet Eastern Bloc country like Croatia or Belarus. I know she can speak English because she is allowed to talk to the Wedding Planners but not allowed to talk to me before the wedding. One of the guys literally stood in between us and held her behind him. I will not do a wedding where I am not comfortable that there is no coercion on either part.
One of the weddings I’ve turned down was when the bride and groom got into a serious fight right before the wedding. They were seriously yelling at each other and in each other’s faces with finger pointing. I don’t remember what they were fighting about but it was serious. I finally broke them up and asked them if they still wanted to get married. They both said “YES!” with all their anger directed at me and I told them it was time to sit down and talk. We talked, they got angry at each other again, and I told them this wasn’t the right time.
The last wedding I’ve turned down was a result of family and not the bride and groom. They walked down the aisle together just as the separated mom and dad started to get into a fight over which was to “present” the bride. Instead of disengaging from the situation the bride got into the fight and it got into who paid for this and who said that and it was just a mess. The groom turns to me and says, “Maybe we should do this later”
All the chapels I work at know that I don’t do “commitment ceremonies” whether they are for gay couples or, more often, straight couples who for one reason or another don’t want the paper, just the ceremony. I turn those down whenever I am confronted with them because, basically, they are asking me for a license to sleep with each other or asking me to bless them living together. I won’t do that.
Monday, May 3, 2010
To OBEY, seriously!
Another old fashioned statement that you don’t have to worry about anymore in wedding ceremonies is the word “obey” appearing in the vows anywhere. I will often joke with the bride and groom that I only put obey in HIS vows. This sets the bride and groom at ease and assures them that the crazy vow doesn’t appear in my “traditional” vows.
It is pretty rare, nowadays, for a traditional couple to ask for “obey” in only the bride’s vows. I will do it if both agree to it. No problem.
As an interesting sideline I have had a few couples who want the word “obey” in BOTH their vows as they promise to obey each other. That is a cool idea as far as I am concerned.
It is pretty rare, nowadays, for a traditional couple to ask for “obey” in only the bride’s vows. I will do it if both agree to it. No problem.
As an interesting sideline I have had a few couples who want the word “obey” in BOTH their vows as they promise to obey each other. That is a cool idea as far as I am concerned.
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